Sikowitz Gets a Date
by Songbird341
Summary: Sikowitz seems lonely, so the gang decides to get him a date at the Red Crawfish, conveniently at the same time Beck and Jade are on a date, too.  They had no idea how bad the date could get, and the surprising identity of his date.
1. Chapter 1

**Some of my shorter stuff. The later chapters are better. Sorry about the 3rd chapter mix-up in The Puppet Thief. It's fixed now. Thanks for reading!**

**5. Sikowitz Gets a Date**

**DISCLAIMER: Guess what I don't own? (Answer: Victorious)**

_[Acting class, Sikowitz is teaching them.]_

"Drive-by acting challenge! You're all Australian Alligator-Wranglers!" Sikowitz shouted.

"Aye, why don't you put some shrimp on the barbie while I catch meself a gator!" André yelled.

"Blimey, that croc just bit off me one good hand!" Cat exclaimed.

"I was eating when I got a bloody Lamington all over me jumper!" Tori shouted.

The whole room exploded with Aussie lingo, until the bell rang. Everyone poured out of the room except for Cat, Tori, André and Robbie.

Sikowitz walked towards the door with a sad expression on his face.

"What's wrong, Sikowitz?" Tori asked.

"Did we do something wrong?" Robbie asked.

"Other than showing up?" Rex added.

"No, children, you did fine. I guess I'm going home again. Alone." Sikowitz sighed. He walked out the door.

"Sikowitz seemed sad," André said.

"That's how my Dad acts when I come home from counseling and I'm still not normal," Cat said.

"Maybe he's lonely?" Tori suggested.

"Maybe," André agreed.

"Can we go eat now? I'm hungry!" Cat said.

"Sure, what do they have?" Tori asked.

"Baby tots! Yay!" Cat exclaimed. She grabbed Robbie's arm and ran out of the classroom.

Tori and André looked at each other, said, "Baby tots! Yay!" and took off to lunch.

_[Everyone is sitting together at lunch.]_

"Ugh, I hate baby tots!" Jade moaned. "Why is the menu this week all disgusting? I'm ready for some real food!"

"Then you'll be happy to know I made reservations for two at the Red Crawfish tomorrow night," Beck told her.

"I like Crawfish," Jade remarked. "They better not make me wear a bib."

"They won't make you wear a bib."

"I love bibs!" Sinjin said as he walked by.

"I don't!" Jade said.

He ran back to the table. "I know. You said so in your diary!"

"What?" Jade asked.

"Nothing!" Sinjin ran away.

"Stay away from my house!" Jade yelled.

"Hey guys," Tori walked up to the table. Cat, Robbie and André were huddled around Cat's phone. "What are you watching?" She asked.

Cat looked up. "A video!" She looked down at it again and giggled.

"What video?" Tori asked.

"The foot gets married!" André answered.

Tori looked behind their shoulders and laughed. "Oh foot... You guys! Put down the pearphone!" Tori demanded. She looked over at Beck and Jade kissing. "Guys! Stop that! We have a problem!"

"We're kinda busy here," Jade said.

"Not anymore!" Tori said and sat down. "We have to help Sikowitz!"

"With what?" André asked.

"Guys! He's lonely!" Tori said.

"And we care?" Jade asked.

"... Yes! He's our teacher! And hasn't he always helped us when we were sad?"

They all looked at each other. "No." Beck said.

"Never," André said.

"Not really," Cat said.

"Nope." Robbie added.

"Well, I say, we get Sikowitz a date!" Tori decided.

They were quiet. "How?" Beck asked.

"He's Sikowitz," André added.

"There's a reason he's lonely," Rex added.

"We can change that!" Tori said. "Maybe... Cat! Do you still do makeovers?"

Cat shook her head. "Not since that guy got mad and-"

"You're gonna makeover Sikowitz!"

"Okey-dokey!" Cat clapped.

"I can help! I'm great with male makeup!" Robbie added.

"Okay! Me and André can find him a date!" Tori declared.

"André can what now?" André asked.

_[In the hallways, Tori and André run up to Sikowitz.]_

"Sikowitz! Wait up!" Tori ran up and grabbed his shoulder.

"And you're touching me!" Sikowitz said. "Can I help you two?"

"No, but we can help you! You have a date tomorrow night! And we're gonna help you get ready!" Tori said.

"A date?" He asked.

"I didn't agree to this," André added.

"Neither did I," Sikowitz agreed. "Look, kids, it's nice what you're trying to do, but I-"

Suddenly a woman ran by and took his satchel.

"I love you too, mom!" Sikowitz smiled. "I gotta get a date!"

"That was your mom?" André asked.

"Who?" He asked.

"Just be at my house tomorrow!" Tori said.

"Okay!" Sikowitz walked away.

André looked at her. "We don't have a date for him!"

"But we will! We'll find one online." Tori nodded. "Tori got it all under control, baby."

**P.S. I'm going to start a series of short stories about Robbie and Cat's childhood adventures together, called Growing Up with Ms. Valentine. If you want to read it, the first chapter is coming out Monday.**


	2. Chapter 2

_[At Tori's house, Cat, Tori, Robbie and André.]_

"Oh here look!" Tori pointed to the laptop screen. "Helena Jones! She enjoys golf, eating hot dogs, and clipping her toenails..."

"No..." André shook his head. Tori clicked on another profile.

"Here's Abigail Heubscher, a doctor who – nevermind..." Tori shook her head.

André grabbed the laptop. "Next," He typed. "Oh! Here's a woman named Maria West. She is divorced with one child, a hand model, and 5'7"." He said.

"Ooh, that's cool! Send her a message!"

"What do I say?" André asked.

Robbie was on the couch with Cat looking at a storybook. He looked up and said, "He's a 6 '6" competitive swimmer with no kids and wavy brown hair."

Tori looked at him. "How did you come up with that?"

"That's what my Dad uses on his profile." Robbie answered.

"Keep reading!" Cat shook his shoulder.

"Okay," Robbie started reading again. "The cow said, 'Moooove, Duck, moooove!"

"Moooo!" Cat giggled.

"Moooo!" Robbie and Cat said together, then leaned in and kissed.

"So, put that swimmer thing in, I guess," Tori sighed. "But wait a minute, he's not all that stuff! She'll be pretty disappointed when she shows up!"

"That's what we're here for!" Robbie said.

They heard a knock, and Sikowitz walked in.

"Hey, 'Gang'!" Sikowitz laughed. "Am I date-ready?" He was in an old brown tux covered in dust with a hole on the sleeve.

"No," André shook his head.

"Let us deal with that," Tori sat him down in the kitchen.

"TORI! TORI!" Trina ran down the stairs.

"What?"

"Quick, you guys, describe me in one word! I'm filling out a quiz!" She flipped her hair and posed.

"Um, crazy?" Tori said.

"Loud!" Robbie spat.

"Irritating," André said.

"Extremely annoying," Sikowitz added.

"... Define 'annoying'," Trina said.

"Just go back upstairs!" Tori said.

"What are you guys even doing?" Trina asked.

"I'm being makeovered for my date tonight!" Sikowitz said.

"Ooh! I'll help!" Trina said.

"You? Help?" Tori asked.

"I'm bored, and I'm great with eyebrows!" Trina wiggled her eyebrows.

"No, I don't want you near my-" Sikowitz began.

"Look, I have to practice so I can do myself! Just let me do it!" Trina said.

"Okay!" Cat smiled.

"Cat!" Tori said.

"Let's get to work!" Trina said.

_[Jade and Beck are sitting down at a table at the Red Crawfish.]_

"Hi, welcome to the Red Crawfish, can I start you off with some drinks?" The waitress said.

"Sure," Beck said. "I'll have a water and she'll have an iced tea."

"Are you single?" The waitress asked.

"Am I invisible or something?" Jade snapped. "Go get our drinks!"

_[Cat and Robbie are putting the finishing touches on Sikowitz.]_

"And... Done!" Cat and Robbie stepped away, revealing a new Sikowitz, with his hair slicked down, and his face makeovered.

"Oh my god! Look at him!" Tori said.

"You don't even look like yourself!" André said.

"Yeah, you look decent!" Trina exclaimed.

"Thank you?" Sikowitz said sarcastically. He stood and did a spin. "So? Do I look handsome?"

"I don't know if I should answer that..." André said.

Cat help up a mirror. "Woah! Who is that good-looking man in there?" He asked.

"So, you're going to the Red Crawfish tonight." Tori said.

"Who's my lady?" Sikowitz asked.

"I'm done here!" Trina said as she walked upstairs.

"Your date is a divorced hand model." Cat said.

"Ooh, a hand model!" Sikowitz rubbed his hands together. "Let's go!"

**So... What do you think the surprising twist about Sikowitz's hand-model date? PM me, and if you get it right, you get a shout-out in the last chapter!**


	3. Chapter 3

****Congratulations to: Infinityforever7, JadePlusBeck, and ScissorBadeLuvJogia for getting the answer right! Way to go, and thanks for reading! Now... let's see that date.****

**_[At the Red Crawfish.]_**

"So I just sit here and wait for her?" Sikowitz asked.

"Pretty much," Tori said.

"Oh, here she comes!" Sikowitz exclaimed. "Go away!"

"Rude!" Robbie said.

"You're Matthew Greene?" She asked. "The competitive swimmer?"

"Am I?" Sikowitz asked.

Tori, Cat, Robbie and André nodded from a table across from them.

"Oh yes! I am, I am the competitive swimmer, Matthew. But call me Erwin." He said.

"Erwin? Why?" The woman asked.

"It's my mother's name! Not mine, of course! I'm Matthew! I just go by my mother's name..." Sikowitz fumbled over his words.

"O-Kay. I'm Marie. So, tell me, Erwin, what do you do outside of swimming competitively." She asked.

"I- I model."

"What? Me too! What do you model?" She smiled.

"Swimsuits," Sikowitz laughed.

"Really?" She looked confused as she sized him up.

Sikowitz shook his head. "So tell me about yourself."

"Okay. I have a daughter, who's talented, but disturbing sometimes..."

"I know the type," He remarked.

"Yeah, anyway... I love to read, and I am a part-time surgeon." She said. "What about you? Your profile wasn't very descriptive."

"Well, I-"

"Hi, welcome to the Red Crawfish. Can I start you off with a drink?" The waiter asked. He looked at Sikowitz. "Whoa, isn't he a bit old for you?"

"I'm 34!" He shouted.

"Okay... Let's order some drinks. I'll have a coffee," She said.

"Oh, um, er, I'll have a coffee too!" Sikowitz said.

_[Across the room, Tori, André, Cat and Robbie hear this.]_

"Is he drinking coffee?" Tori asked.

"But it makes him hyper!" André said.

"Me too!" Cat nodded.

"What happens when he's hyper?" Robbie asked.

"He gets loud, spills things and laughs... Uncontrollably. He has a caffeine breakdown for, like, 3 minutes." Tori said.

"Here it comes!" André said.

Suddenly, Sikowitz started laughing. Loudly.

"A-are you okay?" Marie asked.

"WHAT?" Sikowitz yelled. He reached out to grab a napkin and spilled his coffee. "AW, RATS!" He yelled, then started laughing.

"Oh no," Tori said.

_[The waitress arrives with Jade and Beck's food.]_

"Finally, I've been starving!" Jade said. She grabbed her plate and started eating.

"Would you like a bib, ma'am?" The waitress asked.

"No. Would you?" Jade asked.

"Are you sure? It can get messy-"

"I said no, and I mean no. Now, go get me more iced tea!" Jade ordered.

"Say please," Beck said.

"No." Jade crossed her arms, and stared at something across the room.

"Then I will. Please." Beck said.

"OH MY GOD!" Jade shouted. "Is that my MOM?" She stood and pointed to a table. Sikowitz was running around it like a maniac.

"Please don't yell. Other people are trying to enjoy their dinner." The waitress recited, as though she had done it over and over again.

"Other people's moms aren't on a date with... Sikowitz?" Jade ran over to the table. "MOM?"

"Please stop yelling, or I will have to escort you out."

"I'll escort you out," Jade threatened.

"What did you just say to me?" The waitress put her hand on her hip.

"You heard what I said, sir," She smirked.

"Alright, security!"

"JADE?" Maria shouted.

"MOM!" Jade shouted back.

"MOM? JADE?" Sikowitz shouted, looking confused. His hyper-crash must have been over.

"You're with them?" The waitress asked. She turned to the guards. "Take them both out."

"Jade?" Tori, André, Robbie and Cat jumped up.

"Did EVERYBODY know about this little meeting but me?" Jade screeched.

"I didn't!" Beck put his hands up.

"You're with them to?" The waitress asked."Out!"

Three big security guards walked up and started pushing them out. They kicked and screamed and fought their way.

Next thing they knew, they were all on the sidewalk outside. Maria stood up and walked to her car alone.

Jade looked over at Sikowitz. "You're dating my mom?" She asked.

"Was," He said. He closed his eyes, squatted, and exhaled slowly.

"Oh well," Tori sighed. "Sorry, Sikowitz."

"It's alright," He said. "I'm not the dating type, anyway." He looked around. "Who wants to go to Inside-Out Burger?"

"Yeah let's go!" André said.

"Cool," Beck added.

"Yay!" Cat said.

****So? Did you enjoy the story? Hope so! Review please :) ****

****Next and final story of the Cabbie arc: Robbie's Opportunity****


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